10 Reasons NOT to train at Underground Functional Fitness

10. They make you try out – Just having a credit card and pulse does not get you a membership.  You have to demonstrate your willingness to train intensely enough and follow nutrition counseling to get results. Who wants to have to meet objective standards of performance?

9. They train too hard – You sweat in every workout. We believe sweat is sexy, and we only make sexy people. You train outside your comfort zone which makes it too hard to read a magazine while “working out.” They won’t let you be a part of the program if you just want to go through the motions.

8. They coach you – You can’t just sit and peddle on the bike, they make you learn and develop skills. You have to learn how to move better, so you can lift more weight faster – which means you get leaner, stronger, faster and learn to lift properly. Who wants to be coached to be stronger, faster, healthier, or leaner?

7. They don’t like whining or excuses – Complainers and criers are shunned, ridiculed, run off and are generally treated like lepers.  They don’t consider the woe is me attitude to be a good thing or a badge of courage. It is the right of every human to paint himself or herself as a victim in everything so they can increase their popularity with their everything-is–wrong peer group.   Who wants to go to a place where you can’t complain about everything under the sun?

6. They teach you new things – They make people learn new lifts, workouts and training methods – And expect you to master them.  They teach and re-teach the fundamentals so you are good at them.  Who wants to learn and perfect movements in constantly changing workouts?

5. They don’t have mirrors, seated weight machines, TV’s Etc. – They don’t have a place to adjust your make up or to flex while you stand around figuring out your next bicep exercise. You can’t check how your new outfit looks when you work out. There is no TV with Jerry or Montel or any other car crash program to distract you from your workout. They actually make you come train and leave. Who really wants to actually focus on training enough to save time for family, friends, and/or work?

4. They tell you the truth – They tell you when you are not moving right, or babying yourself or going through the motions. They are do not praise you when you look like a space monkey having a seizure.  If you do something stupid in a workout they will have probably videoed it and put it on YouTube.  Who wants to be held accountable to actually do things right?

3. They expect you to get better and actually expect you to train – They expect you to add weight, go faster and maintain excellent form as a regular part of the training. They expect you to try harder to overcome the weakest links in your performance. They expect everyone who has a membership to actually come to the facility to reach their goals. Who wants that kind of stress to constantly improve or show up?

2. They measure performance – They initially assess and track your results. They won’t let you just go through the motions – They keep score on the results of your training. If your measurements, body fat percentage, weight or times are not improving, they want to know why. Who wants their performance to improve all the time?

1. They charge too much – They charge enough where you may actually feel compelled to show up and train. They think that if they provide a top level, fully equipped training space and expert coaches to teach you, it is of value to their clients/athletes.  Who wants to pay for a fully equipped and professionally run training center that expects people to train and requires people to get results?

One Response to “10 Reasons NOT to train at Underground Functional Fitness”

  1. Andrea Says:

    Very entertaining, Dave, and true. UFF has made a huge difference in my life — and I am grateful.

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